Delusional World of Mine

the power of being ikhlas :)

There will be plenty of times in our lives when we feel that life is too hard, too difficult, for us to go through it. The times where it seems like no one is there for us. The times where we lose all the hopes and the dreams…

…but as soon as we make peace with ourselves, and with what happen, we will be much, much happier. The power of being ikhlas, and accepting things as they happen.

Please, don’t forget to be happy. Whatever happens.

Good Bye 2012, See You Soon 2013 !

Time runs so fast. Like really fast. I hardly believe that I’ve been through 2012. Just about 2 hours to go, I will leave the bittersweet 2012, and say ‘welcome’ to unpredictable 2013. There are so many bittersweet memories along 2012, pain, failing, happiness, everything. 2012 was fantastic. Filled with so many lesson learned, experience, achivements, and pain. 2012 was an ups and downs year for me. So, lets doing some flashbacks along 2012………………………………….. In 2012, I experienced one of the hardest part of time of life. I had to face the creepy phase of a twelve grader student. Yip Yip. Have you ever faced thing called ‘galau akademik’? Well, I would nominate it as the most frustating thought of the year. -________-‘. The few months before national exam and college entrance test. It was frustating. I mean litterally frustating. Everyday, my mind was filled with the ‘what if I can’t pass the exam’ kinda thoughts. I prayed to the almighty almost everytime. I lengthened my ‘sujud’ in every ‘shalat’. I argued about college almost everyday with my daddy and ended up crying in my room. My national exam result was fantastic. I got 9,25 in the average. :’) But……………………….the issue had not finished yet. There was another deathful stuff called ‘college’ entrance test. I……I failed at SNMPTN. I still remember just how depressed i was. How depressed my dad was. Seriously, I cried my heart out. I couldn’t see any way out of this case. But, I tried to see things from different point a view. I learned to not to stand and wait for the closed door to open for me again. If it had already closed, then it would never be opened for me again. So, I had to look for another way. I failed majoring in medical faculty. And to be frank, It cut my heart out at once, but I didn’t want to let my self tricked by silly thing called life. I knew that in this world, there was a thing people called destiny, but I did believe that I could change the destiny. So, I decided to join another college entrance test. Not too bad, I was accepted in three public university and one private university. But none of them was medical faculty. So my daddy decided to take the government science of Diponegoro University. Once, I thought that ummm okay, majoring in unpopular major like government science would be such a piece of cake for me. HAHAHA. But life proves me wrong. It wasn’t that easy, dude. I met heaps of superb governiants here. Ohh, I learned so many things from them. And it was an honour :’) In 2012, I tried to do some interships in some of intra organization like HMJ IP Undip, non-profit organization called HIMPS Undip, an english club called Species club. Especially, for HMJ IP Undip, thankyou for the ansightful and unforgetable experience in the past three months. I found my new family there. The people was so warm and It made me comfortable. Mbak aisyah, mas arif, mbak welly, mas wisnu, mbak mey, and mas irfan. Thank you my PJIP crew ! :D And also thankyou for mas munir, teguh, deny…my internship partner ;)) I’m just hoping that i could be a part of HMJ IP Undip 2013 (aamiin) In 2012, I had to be apart with my best friends in highschool. Rahma-Danna-Agnes-Dinda-Lany and……..my beloved acceleration family called PEACE family. Guess what? I do miss them. I mean litterally :’( They really show me what friends are for. They cheer me up when i am down. They support me in every way that I do. They defend me from everything or everyone from hurting me. Rahma (my best friend, my ex room-mate) once said “Sahabat itu meskipun mereka nggak ngobrol lama, nggak ketemu lama banget tapi hati mereka tetep dekat dan nggak ada yang bisa ngerubah itu” I 100% believe what she said. We haven’t met in a while, but when we met, nothing is changed. We talk like what we used to do. There is nothing that make things change. The only thing that change is that we have more stories to be told to them. Guys, trust me, even when we’re apart now, but you all are the best….best kinda bestfriends I have ever had. You all are great person and I hope someday we will eventually meet as succesful people :’) In 2012, someone FINALLY re-asked me to be her girlfriend. Someone who constantly send me goodmorning text everyday along 2012. Someone who cheered me up when I didn’t get the SNMPTN. Someone who was willing to spend his new years eve by texting with me because we were miles apart. Someone who put my name on his twitter location. Someone who called me at the midnight on my 16th birthday just to say ‘happy birthday’ to me. Someone who is willing to teach mathematics and physics to me, a girl who is really idiot at both math and physics by phone at MIDNIGHT. Someone who sent me a love letter. Someone who was willing to spend his weekend at home just to meet me. Someone who was willing to see ‘cherrybelle’ concert just to spend the night with me. Someone who is willing to get me some juice in the afternoon of sucking tembalang. Someone who is always there when I text “yang, temenin makan. lapeeeer” even when he is chased by duty-deadline :)))) Someone who is REALLY patient to deal with an opinionated-childish-selfish girl like me. Someone who get me smiling everytime I re-read his messeges. Someone….someone who has been very special to me in the past one and half year ;) So, 2012 has been a good to me, but I hope that 2013 will be so much better. I hope that there will be any betterment for my self. Besides all of the negativity that happened. It makes me who I am now. There is no resolutions for what i want to be happened in 2013, just a somewhat realistic, achievable goal for 2013: to appreciate things more and to be better/happier in life. Okay, so I’m about to be ready to say Goodbye to 2012. So, i’m looking forward to see what you have in store for me, 2013. Although, I’m not celebrating it, I just want to say Happy new years everyone. ! :))

Hihihi :}

I was reading someone’s tumblr when I decided to write this. It’s been a while since my latest post. Yes. I didn’t write anything since all the announcement about college entrance test. I failed at some test, but I passed at some test, though. Since then, I felt lazy to write such a thing, about love, life, friends, or anything. I was blank, thinking just about how to get in that ‘it’ major or that university. I was accepted at communication science of Universitas Indonesia, international relation of Universitas Airlangga, bussiness management of technology and information of IM Telkom , and the last one, government science of Universitas Diponegoro. And finally, I made one of the hardest decision of my life, yes, I chose Universitas Diponegoro. I chose to be a governiant. H-A-H-A Let’s just get over it. Now, i want to talk about someone whom I do really really really care about. Someone who become my very-close-guy-friend or you can call him my boyfriend by the way. We’ve been close to each other in the past a year. If you ask me how could we be this close, My answer probably will be, i don’t know how, it just happened unpredictably, naturally, in an unexpected way. I sent chain messege to him, then he replied and we began to text each other since then. He once said that he had been paying attention to me since he was still in senior high. In my mind, i was like ohhhhhh maaaaaaaaan, why didn’t you just ask for my number, and texted me huh? Why didn’t you do that? Why you just asked your friend for my number and when he didn’t give it to you, you were that easy to give up huh? You were an asdfghjkl, man. Really. I still remember the first time I saw you. We were at my class, you played game with your friend while I was watching ‘3 idiots’ with my bestfriends. I was like who the hell was this guy? Yes. I had been attracted to you since the day I first met you. Weird, isn’t it? I’m not that kinda girl who believes in love at the first sigh. Yes, It wasn’t love at the first sigh, it was just another silly feeling that I had. I don’t know where it all started, I just began to stalk your facebook, and twitter, and find out that you already had a special girl. But, look how far we’ve come right now, my half. It’s been quite a year. A year. It’s not a short time, we’ve been through a lot. There too many memories, the dates, the type-sleep-type-sleep kinda text, the late night phone calls, the shake hands after date, the i-miss-you lines, and everything, I can’t mention it one by one actually. To be honest, I miss everything about long-distance-relationship stuff. I don’t know why. Do you still remember about our first date? It was a cloudy Thursday. You picked me up at four. It was really truly awkward situation. Yet I want to go back to our first conversation. The way you looked at me for the first time. HAHAHA. If only i had a time machine, then i would use it to take me back to the old times. But now I’m so glad to have you here, darling. Thankyou so much for everything. Everything that you have given to me. It’s just uncountable. A bunch of thanks honey *kiss*

I miss you, Bapak :’

Baru saja aku mencoba tidur setelah belajar sejenak. Baru sepuluh menit, layar handphone bergetar dan subhanallah ternnyata telfon dari mamah.

“Assalamualaikum..”-Jawabku

“Walaikumsalam..”-Jawab suara jauh disana. Suara yang tidak asing bagiku. Suara berat itu milik bapak. Beliau menanyakan kabarku. Lalu menyuruhku bercerita hal-hal apa yang aku lakukan mulai dari bangun tidur sampai sekarang. Seperti biasa, aku yang memang suka bercerita, memulai bercerita dari A sampai Z. Dan bapak hanya diam mendengarkan. Sungguh, itu hal yang biasa beliau lakukan.

Lalu beliau menyuruhku bercerita tentang organisasi yang aku ikuti. Mulai dari HMJ, bagaimana aku sangat antusias mengikutifirst workshopspecies club, sampai bagaimana aku antusias mengajar anak-anak SD dari kalangan masyarakat yang kurang mampu.

“Kamu itu jauh dari orangtua nduk. Harus bisa jaga diri. Boleh ikut ini itu, bapak sangat mendukung asal itu positif, tapi jangan sampai ngganggu kuliah kamu. Hati-hati kalau pulang malem. Nggak usah ikut G***.” kata beliau

Iya bapak :’)

Achda bisa jaga diri disini. Achda hanya ingin membuat bapak bangga dengan cara achda.

Belum genap seminggu dari rumah, tapi rasanya sudah seperti berulan-bulan. Bapak, kangen…

Biasanya setiap aku di rumah, bapak pasti akan mengajak pergi sekeluaga tiap weekend. Entah itu keluar makan ataupun jika aku merengek minta dibelikan sesuatu. Kalau pun kepepet tidak bisa keluar rumah, beliau pasti mengajak anak-anaknya kumpul, bareng sama mamah. Atau bahkan kadang tidur bareng berlima di kamar mamah. Me miss that moment so much :”

Lying there with my little family, give pranks to each other, iritates each other, laughs together. Just enjoy the moment of being together :’

Tapi, di saat-saatso sweet momentsama bapak, aku malah merusaknya dengan tanya,”Bapak, udah transfer uang belum?”-______________-

Tapi, beliau tetapkeep on being cool,dengan bilang,”Bapak lupa nduk. Tadi bapak sibuk. Besok ya bapak transfer. Uang di atm masih cukup buat makan kan? Makan sehari 3x yaa. Boleh uang habis kalo buat makan. Jaga kesehatan, makan yang teratur. Bapak nggak suka kamu kurus.”

Jadi inget, dulu mamah pernah dimarahin sama bapak cuma gara-gara aku kurus dan bapak nuduh mamah yang nyuruh aku diet. :”D

Bapak,thankyou for being such a great dad for us, especially for me. If i was given a scale between 1 until 100, I undoubtly give 99,99999… for you. You’re the most perfect dad I’ve ever had. You never get upset on me even though I’m rebel sometimes. Kak sahal once said to me”Kamu itu yang paling dimanja sama bapakmu. Minta apa aja pasti dikasih, Asal kalo kamu minta sesuatu yang halus. Jangan maksa-maksa. Orang bapakmu bilang itu sendiri ke aku.”How sweet he is :”.You’rethe coolest one, Dad. Sorry for upsetting you, sorry for being a rebell one, sorry for the bads that I’ve done, sorry for interupting you, sorry for being such a foolish daughter.

dad, even if I have so many flaws, yet i’m still trying to fix it. I’m still trying to be your best daughter. I’m still trying to make you proud of me. Really. I’m still trying, dad. I’m willing to work my ass off to do all the things I’ve said.

Well, I will get my first middle test on my freshman year for about two weeks ahead, soI’m about to work my ass off and hope that I can get you satisfied with the result, Dad.

J’taime, Bapak :’

Regards,

Achda. 16 y.o. The cutest-ass :D